I finally saw “Mysterious Skin” tonight and everything clicked. A key finally fit and then I knew.
When the one Man, my Father, who was supposed to always be by my side abandoned me..I became hyper aware of any other man who “wanted” me from then on.
No matter how or in what way that want manifested itself, I craved to feel special, to feel like I was number one in someone’s life. To be included and wanted became my reason to be.
I would have and did anything I was asked by almost everyone from that day forward. And I have been looking for that man ever since. The one who will never leave me.
And it nearly killed me. Twice.
And he doesn’t exist. Only God is with me forever. No wonder no Man has lived up to my broken expectations.
I wanna hide now and just forget the world. My Mysterious Skin is, no more.