I do this to myself. I know this. I let myself believe. I WANT. To take a chance and have it payoff. To throw caution to the wind and have it sail high above my head. To have expectations and have them come true. To listen to my heart and have it tell me: “YES. This is it.” And that be the truth.I live a daily life of faith and a Higher Power and spirituality that some call shamanistic. Steps and powerlessness and trust and One. Day. At. A. Time.
Lyrics to “Everyman Needs A Companion” by Father John Misty
Then, I click on button. I read one paragraph. I respond honestly to a question. And bang. Connect. Feel that? I do! I do too.
You already told me. I should know better. I’ve been here before. I wrote this story already with the ending. But, the future is not written. Is it? And God, if you didn’t sound just like him in my ear tonight. Saying the same things.
Now, I’m in a tunnel and I can only see you. Coming right at me. Like a train. Too late to jump off the tracks I carefully laid. Impact is imminent. Hold my hand.
At least I will feel. Something. Fully. I’m ready.